Thinking Of You
by xZigglesx
Summary: Nikoli has gone back in time, to before he was even born. And now he has to contend with a now younger older brother who seems interested in a more intimate relationship. Rated M for future chapters.


_My first X-Men fanfic, so please be nice.  
>I don't own Marvel or any of the cannon X-Men characters (obviously) but I do own, Colt, Gideon and any other characters that I mention as mine.<br>Nikoli and Felix belong to my lovely friend SunshineHomicide, who is super awesome. So, without further ado, enjoy!_

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><p>Chapter 1.<br>If You Only Knew.

_If you only knew how many times I counted_  
><em>All the words that went wrong<em>  
><em>If you only knew how I refuse to let you go<em>  
><em>Even when you're gone<em>  
><em>I don't regret any days I spent<em>  
><em>Nights we shared or letters that I sent<em>

Ever since the Nikoli had been brought into the world much like his older brother...through the science of DNA, Cold Darkholme had felt himself bonded to the youngest of their family. Nikoli was sweet and caring and so much like their fathers, just like Colt. They had spent so much time together and it was like breathing air to the ones that lived in the school. The Darkholme brothers were rarely apart. Colt would work on cars with their father Gideon, and Nikoli would be there, handing him tools and learning the different pieces that Colt had learned. When he was training with their father Felix, Nikoli would be on the side lines, cheering them both on (though sometimes he would get caught cheering for one of them louder than the other). They spent so much time together, doing everything and anything that they could get into doing. They were thick as thieves and nothing could change that.

Well, things did change it.

As the years passed, Nikoli got older and older and older, until finally he had matured into the most handsome young man that Colt had ever seen. He had firm, chiseled features, the most fit and muscular body that he had ever seen...he was everything that a man or woman could want in a lover..and at first, Colt had gotten jealous.

Colt felt like he had gotten the short end of the stick. He was cute, yes. He had gotten Gideon's adorable face, but he wasn't lean and toned like Gideon, and he wasn't built with abs like Felix. Round face, a slightly pudgy stomach...he was a bit on the smaller side..he was shy and rather quiet and, even with the power he had, he couldn't pull attention like Nikoli could.

The young man..he was gorgeous. He had the girls and guys of the school whispering all the time about him. No matter what they were saying, good or bad, the fact of the matter was that they were talking about him. They found his younger brother important enough that they all couldn't shut up about him. At first, he figured it was simply because he was cute and was a bit of of flirt...well...a lot of a flirt. Then he found that he was sleeping with many of the residence of the school. He didn't care what they said and just did what he wanted, and still more often than not, they were speaking of him in admiration. The thought he was the most amazing guy there was and always said that he was just like his fathers.

...What about Colt? He was the older brother. He was the one that had all the power. He was the one that had saved everyone when that generator meltdown occurred. He was a hero and yet, Nikoli was talked of more than he was. **"Nikoli is so cute." "I hope Nikoli looks my way" "You won't believe some of the things I had heard about Nikoli"** What about Colt! Where was the recognition and admiration for what he had done? He was a hero to the X-Men damn it, why wasn't he treated like one?

Did he voice this? No, never. Why? Well, did he want to walk up to his little brother and tell him that he resented all of the attention that the others slung at him? Was he going to say that he was jealous that he was the picture perfect, spitting image of their fathers? Was he going to say that he wished that they all would look at him that he was jealous that his brother was better looking and had a better body and, despite his lack of physical powers, was more envied than he was? That would make him sound so vain. He couldn't do that. He couldn't say that he felt that his brother was better than him and he wanted him to stop being that way..but he wished that he could.

Like, right now, Nikoli was chatting up some girl and guy...and they were eating up whatever it was that he was saying to them. He was telling them whatever they wanted to hear and they were loving it and it wasn't all that long before he was leading them away..up the stairs towards where his room was. Colt ran a hand through his well combed hair and sighed heavily, turning on his heel and walking to the living room area to flop down onto the couch. He hated this, hated this feeling and hated that he was just letting it stew. He knew that sooner or later it would get to be too much and would just explode out on whoever was around...and he didn't want to snap at someone that didn't deserve it..so he would have to work up some courage and talk to his little brother soon before it got out of control.

He had taken him hours upon hours to work up the strength he needed, it was the next morning. Colt had spent the rest of his day, laying on the couch, trying to muster up courage to talk to his brother. Well, with all the energy he had saved up, he really didn't have a reason not to do it, now did he?

With a heavy sigh, he pulled himself from his makeshift bed and forced himself to walk to the stairs, climb them slowly and head down the hall to the door that lead into Nikoli's bedroom. He took a few breaths and knocked...no answer. He knocked again...no answer still. After one more no and still no answer, Colt opened the door and looked in, seeing the figures in the bed and sighing. Damn it..he still had them in here..he would have to go over there and get him up so he could talk to him. Slowly taking to the air, Colt flew over silently, hovering over the bed and looking at the sleeping figure that was his brother. He looked so peaceful when he slept. So angelic and innocent, and you would think that he was just like Colt...be he wasn't really. Not in most aspects. Still...

He shook himself out of his thoughts because he had to do this now before he chickened out..and Colt was known for chickening out. He did it a lot when he was younger, and though he didn't do it as much now, he still did it. He reached out and tapped Nikoli softly on the shoulder, watching as he moved a little bit. He did it again, and he moved again. Then, with an exasperated sigh, he tapped him once more, rather roughly...and he disappeared. Colt's eyes widened and he went flying back, falling to the ground with a loud thud that woke the other two in the bed. They yelled in surprise when they saw him and the girl covered herself quickly. **"Colt! What the hell are you doing in here! And where is Niko?"** she asked, sounding annoyed that he had be caught in his brother's room. Colt didn't care about them though and simply started at the area in the middle of the bed. The area where his brother had previously been. His brother wasn't there...he hadn't phased. No, he knew phasing and that wasn't what that had been. He had been there, and then wasn't. And the feeling that he was getting was too strong for him to ignore.

Colt's little brother was completely and utterly gone.

_...The only thing that I still believe in is you_  
><em>If you only knew<em>

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><p><em>Well, that's my first chapter, hope it wasn't too bad.<br>This came about from a RP that I'm doing with friends and I just couldn't help myself from typing it out.  
>I'll most likely add chapters whenever I get the chance and the muse comes to me, so be sure to check back from time to time.<br>_


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